Therapy itself has many benefits, including but not limited to…
Improving in understanding yourself
Learning to effectively set and maintain boundaries
Improving in your ability to communicate
Learning to trust others again or for the first time
Improving sleep habits and patterns
Releasing the burdens of the past
And that’s just to name a few.
As the concept of starting therapy and addressing your mental health continue to become more normalized in society and on social media, many people are still left with questions.
In particular, in the Black community, with its history of mistreatment in and mistrust of the healthcare system, there are some common misconceptions and beliefs about therapy that have been passed down. Additionally, there are the practical worries we may have (i.e. finances, time, etc.) as well as some of the emotional concerns about just starting therapy.
The “what ifs” begin swirling and the fear about discussing the things we push down comes up.
So if you want to start therapy, but these things are getting in the way, keep reading.
Let’s break down some common misconceptions!
Misconceptions about therapy in the Black Community
“Why pay for a fake friend?”
The best way to address this misconception is to state plainly, your therapist actually isn’t a friend at all. Your therapist is a licensed professional who is trained to assist you in working through life concerns, your emotions, stressors, and reaching your wellness goals. Therapists hold boundaries that allow the professional relationship to be welcoming, safe, and comfortable without creating a friendship or an inappropriate relationship.
Ultimately, when you and/or your insurance company are paying a therapist, you are paying for a service, not a friend.
“What happens in this house stays in this house.”
This statement can be particularly harmful when it comes to healing from our trauma and unhelpful beliefs from our childhood. When we are taught to keep the things that hurt us inside, we don’t get the chance to process them in healthy ways.
We are denied the access to someone qualified, nonjudgmental, or unbiased that can guide us through whatever may be going on in our lives. We then continue with life with a pain point that shows up in ways we do not always recognize. We can respect our loved ones and heal ourselves too.
“You’re just in a funk. We all have bad days. We all feel anxious. You’re strong enough.”
Yes, we all have emotions and we all have days that are rough; AND that does not mean that we have to suffer through it and especially not alone. Our ability to cope with what life throws at us varies by the person, the experience, and the skills that have been learned. It is encouraged to avoid minimizing what is coming up for us or allowing other people to minimize it. Your feelings are valid.
There is also a line between our emotions and a clinical mental health diagnosis. The only individuals capable of giving an official diagnosis are trained professionals such as therapists and psychiatrists.
The Practical Considerations of Therapy
But my budget…is it worth the financial commitment?
This is a very real consideration that many therapists hear daily. There is a financial commitment to starting and continuing therapy and that financial commitment looks different for every person.
However, the financial investment in therapy is absolutely worth it. As mentioned at the start of this blog, there are benefits to therapy that can often not be calculated from a financial perspective. It’s like the old Discover commercials, the benefits of therapy are priceless.
It’s important to do your research to understand what the best option for you is in terms of paying for therapy.
Some people budget for therapy in the same way they budget for other life expenses and pay out-of-pocket costs for services. Some who have insurance choose to go with a provider that is in-network or ask if they can be reimbursed for providers who are out of network. Some may find that meeting with a provider who offers a reduced rate or sliding scale options can give you an opportunity to begin and stay in therapy for the length of time you need. There are also organizations and programs that offer to pay for a number of therapy sessions. One that The Worth, Wisdom, & Wellness Center accepts is the Loveland Foundation.
Regardless of which decision you make regarding paying for services, finding the right fit for your needs and your budget will support you in receiving the results you desire from the experience.
My schedule is tight, I’m not sure how to fit therapy into my schedule!
Having a busy schedule, a schedule that changes by the week, and traveling often for work are very real concerns when considering starting therapy. Often, this just takes some creativity and the willingness to be a little flexible.
With the increase in utilizing virtual therapy, there is also an increase in opportunities to make therapy more accessible and convenient in terms of scheduling. When you don’t have to worry about traveling to the office, it creates more room for flexibility.
There are some therapists that offer evening sessions and/or weekend appointments and that could be helpful in finding a time that works for you.
At the same time, therapists are people too with their own personal life schedules so if there is a place where you can be a little flexible then it will probably be worth it to make the adjustment.
Especially if you find a therapist that is the ideal fit and specializes in what you need (see more up next!). The flexibility will support you in truly getting your needs met and moving forward on your healing journey.
I’m not even sure what I would need in a therapist, there are so many options!
Some people say finding the right therapist is like dating. You can read the therapist’s biography, certifications, and specialties. However, there may be times when you have to actually start the process to know if the two of you will be a good fit. Some things to consider in finding a therapist include:
- What are you hoping to get out of therapy? (Example: address trauma, grief, learn coping strategies, anger management). Find a therapist that may specialize in your goals for therapy or lists them as an area they work with
- Do you feel most comfortable with a therapist that comes from the same racial/cultural background as you?
- What gender identity are you most comfortable working with? Male, female, transgender, gender fluid, non-binary?
- Are you looking for a therapist to include faith/religion in the work they do with you? Or do you prefer for the work to stay away from it?
- Do you strongly prefer being able to meet in person or are you open to virtual telehealth sessions?
These are just a few things to think about as you explore your options in therapists.
Sounds good sis, but what if…
…It’s awkward to tell all of my business to a stranger? Or what if I start and I don’t vibe with my therapist?
It’s reasonable to anticipate an adjustment to a new person, not to mention a person that you’re about to share details (some of the deepest darkest things you don’t tell anyone else) of your life with. However, as stated earlier, your therapist isn’t just any stranger.
They are a trained professional ready and willing to hear you, support you, validate you, and help you to heal.
Creating a healthy professional dynamic is something they do every day. Therefore, do your best to allow them to show you how comfortable it can be before you assume. And if it is awkward or the relationship feels uncomfortable, then it is okay to have a conversation with the therapist and explore if you can find someone else that feels like a better fit.
But no that awkward and uncomfortable does not equal wrong or a bad fit. With any relationship, it takes time to build trust and safety. Even with the training, that time factor is still very real.
…I feel worse? The last thing I need is to feel worse.
Then explore why you’re feeling worse. Is it because the experience of talking with someone about the things that hurt you feels new and uncomfortable? An adjustment period to discussing and exploring what has been stressful or unresolved is expected.
Bring it up with your therapist, they likely want to be aware of what it is you’re experiencing as it will inform them of what else you may need in treatment. Think of it this way, when we are beginning to work out, we typically feel sore and uncertain after. Yet, as we continue to work out, it gets easier. We can run for longer periods of time or lift heavier weights.
…I have to face the truth? The truth scares me.
A part of therapy is being honest with ourselves and confronting it; facing that everything (you, your life, your family) isn’t perfect. The relief here is that you do not have to face it alone and you have someone who can guide you through supporting yourself.
…I’m not ready?
Readiness is a significant part of therapy as well. Trust yourself to know when you are ready to at least take the first step which is maybe just reaching out.
At the same time, keep in mind that feeling 100% ready may not be the case for everyone. There’s a chance there will always be something that provides a reason why you shouldn’t start therapy.
It is ultimately up to you to take the chance of just getting started.
Okay, I think I might be ready to give therapy a try, now what?
Take all of these things into account:
- What misconceptions have I heard or been taught that could be blocking me from my healing journey?
- How can I best make room for therapy in my budget?
- If I can’t make space in my budget, what options can I explore to have some of the costs covered or reduced?
- Am I willing to have some flexibility in my schedule for therapy? Can I give an hour a week to meet with my therapist?
- What do I need in a therapist and what do I prefer? Do I need my sessions to be in person? Are you looking for a therapist that specializes in trauma?
There will always be “what ifs” in life and reasons why you shouldn’t start therapy yet.
Ultimately, the only way to confirm or dispel the “what ifs” is to try. Schedule your first appointment today.
The Worth, Wisdom and Wellness Center provides Trauma & EMDR therapy, Therapy for Perfectionism and Low Self-esteem, Therapy for Anxiety and Depression, and Faith-Based Therapy to Black women and Women of Color. We are dedicated to being a safe space for Black women to dispel the misconceptions that they’ve heard about therapy and truly experience the benefits of healing.
If you are located in the state of Georgia* and interested in starting your healing journey, you can follow any of the steps below.
- Contact us to schedule your first session and learn more about our services.
- Review our About Us page to learn more about our trauma trained providers.
- Review our FAQs page to learn more about therapy at our center.
We look forward to being a part of your healing journey.